I have a strange feeling today. I am tired of my “old” state, I wrote applications this week and found that the person I am right now doesn’t fit my old job descriptions any longer.
My appartment is nice, but I am looking for a new one right now, because I want to live in another part of my hometown.
I am sorting old stuff out – clothes, books, habits.
The new Me is not quite formed yet. I know it will come, it takes a bit time.
I feel like I am in nowhere land.
I will meet old friends next week, we studied together in the eighties, most of them are engineers and still work in that field. Most of them would never question their choice like I did.
But then, as much as they are creative, none of them is an artist or a writer.
I know they like me and I am happy to meet them all again this year.
However, I have no classic carreer, no children, not even the “classic” partner/husband – I live an unconventional life and have become more of a free-spirit over the years.
I feel like I don’t fit in – now I feel it stronger. But I have found my tribe – other artists, free-lancers, my soul-tribe.
I had a lot of change over the last two months and this phase where the new is not formed and I am sad to let go of the old, sad but happy to move on, feels like one of these grey days, with clouds, but the feeling that the sun will be back – not today, but soon.