Hot Summer

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Wasn’t that a song? I don’t remember, it’s so hot today.

So I stay inside most of the time, stay in the cool of the house and relax.

Today is a day for easy work – and only if you have to.

Today is a day for the beach, for cocktails and light summer dresses.

Enjoy and have fun 🙂

The Power of Letting Go

At the moment I am in such a deep mode of letting go, I forgot to post yesterday. So you’ll get two posts on another day, surprise, surprise.

Meaning I could not write, I first had so structure what was going on, what is still going on. I also needed lots of sleep, rest, meditation.

Most of the times in my life I was forced into letting go ( I wanted to hold onto things or people like crazy)

  • when a relationship ended and my partner broke up
  • when a family member or friend died, mostly very unexpectedly
  • when I was fired (or let go as they called it)
  • when I tried to stay in a circle of friends where I didn’t feel like me anymore
  • and so on, you know what I mean?

I remember that my parents always told me to fight – never run away, never leave without a fight. From their personal history (Dad’s father died fighting in the resistance against the Nazis) it made perfect sense – for them. They told me what they had learned.

So I fought, I held on to situations, like my job in IT, where I had great co-workers, yes, but didn’t get along with my new boss. She had tried to get rid of me for some months, and I didn’t want to leave. I was shocked when I had no other choice left.

I asked one of my friends, a shaman, to help – guess what she told me?

She asked me why I wanted to stay in a place and situation where I was not wanted – why did I waste so much energy fighting it? Why didn’t I just go with the flow?

I could see she was right – I wanted this flow she spoke of –  there was a lot of resistance to deal with. I had yet to learn how to let my body, my soul trust this flow.

Ending relationships, leaving, breaking up – easy when I wanted out, hard when he quit. I survived, I ‘ve learned a lot about myself – to find out that I wanted freedom, something unusual, openness, not easy if you come from a family where the woman tries to control her man, not realizing she married a guy you can’t control, independent, travelling, not the family guy she wanted.

Over the years I could see what happened with my parents, the control, the fights – I felt that letting go when you need to is the way. Love might not end, maybe the relatioship has to for both to be their true selves.

These are two examples, my own experience, there’s more, a lot more I am sure.

At the moment I am learning, trying not to develop solutions, to manipulate them my way – instead of letting the Tao (you can call it God if you like or Universe) help me.

I am learning to trust, to let go of the expected outcome, to remain open, to stay in the flow.

At the moment it is my financial situation, having started a new business, lots of old bills catching up, not (yet) enough money coming in.

Years ago I would have been in panic mode, sleepless, my mind racing, not able to eat – now I am using my Taoist practice to help me, to let go and rest in the arms of the Tao, to do the work – without the need to figure out the hows.

I don’t know how or when it will resolve, I know deep down it will work out in ways I couldn’t think of, in the most elegant way. I trust – it works.

What is it you need to let go – now? How does it feel?

Feel free to comment or ask. I’ll feel free to share my techniques with you soon.

See you!

 

 

Living dangerously

Today I was thinking a lot about this quote by Thomas Jefferson:

I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery.

It had landed in my inbox yesterday, part of a mail about being your own boss, running your own business.

I have had both things in my life:  nice jobs where I didn’t have to think, or was not allowed to think outside the box. While many people told me I should be happy to be in a job – I was very unhappy and bored most of the time .

Jobs were I was allowed to think – that I ‘ve experienced, too.

The thing is – this safety and security people speak of felt like a prison. Security being an illusion anyway, I could not see why I should give up my dreams and do what other people tell me.

Being chained to a cubicle from nine to five is not my thing! Routine bores me tto death!

So I started looking for ideas, for the things I’d love to work on, for my own business.

When I lost my last job in September 2016 I was urged, again, by the job agency, to apply for similar jobs.

It turned out very quickly that they did not want me anymore, even if I was interviewed and liked the place, they often criticized me for having had many different jobs (from selling books to IT support and trainer to Financial Consulting), for my freelance experience and so on. Obviously I didn’t fit in their box anymore.

Time to do my own thing, to go for my adventure, to start writing and coaching. Long story short: I went for it, asked for financial aid, filled in lots of forms, talked to my tax consultant and got started.

It is a wild ride, juggling money, ideas and time. Being visible as the person I truly am and not playing a role. For years that was a real challenge. Now it feels so good to know that everything is my decision to make.

No matter how it turns out, I decide – and no matter what, I found I love that.

Juggling bills and money, trusting it will work out. Does not sound fun, so I played a bit and discovered a lot of my beliefs about money and how it should be are not even mine – I’ve learnt them from my parents and family.

Creating and market my stuff, that ‘ll be a lot of work – it does not feel like work though.

No matter how this all turns out – it’s an adventure worth living. If that’s living dangerously – I’m in!

P.S. all I’ve written is purely my experience -it may resonate or not. It’s not my intention to offend employees and their lifestyle – if you’re happy, do it. If not, try something new – that’s what I did and we’ll see where it leads me…

 

 

 

 

 

Starting again

I am here, writing – I have missed this very much. Still I needed a little kick to start anew.

Today is the first day of July’s Ultimate Blog Challenge (UBC) – and I’m game.

I’ll post every day – that’s the plan.

So many things have changed since my last post – it feels good to be here and share again.

Some of you may know I finally started my own coaching business in April, filling in lots of forms, setting up a structure, doing all the buerocracy stuff (necessary, didn’t like it much, done!)

Now that it’s done I have more time to create , to play with my ideas for trainings and a book, to play around – and create new content for you.

So stay tuned for the things I am going to share – about my trainings, about my challenges & tools, about the Taoist stuff where I am going a bit deeper each day.

About the blocks and stepping stones, the adventure and the joy.

See you tomorrow !

 

 

Wayne-quote

I am celebrating my birthday today – with this quote of Wayne Dyer. We share a birthday

We have to remimd ourselves often, that we cannot fail – we simply have to be ourselves.

Have a happy day today! Enjoy your life!

I’m back again

A flu virus hit in the middle of the Blog Challenge – and I just could not write.

I completely focussed on recovering, getting healthy again.

Now I am on the mend, with the flu almost gone.

I noticed something quite crazy: when I was writing and publishing my posts on a daily basis I juts did it, I got in the flow and could let the written words go without much effort or criticism.

Now, after a few days off sick my inner critic is much stronger. I find it difficult to let go and share my writing – my inner perfectionist is having a field day – or so she thought.

I’ve known her too well, whispering in my Mum’s best teacher voice – and I gave her the rest of today off.

I think Julia Cameron says it best:

 

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So I’ll click publish  – let’s go create art and give our inner critics the day off.

A Radical Approach

Yesterday was Blue Monday – the most depressing day of the year.

It is calculated by a “non-scientific” formula – and since 2005 it’s usually the third Monday in January.

Depression in growing in numbers, more and more people feeling depressed or diagnosed with it. I remember being a bit exhausted last year, after a series of events in my personal life. Feeling tired, yet optimistic as always…my GP diagnosed depression and suggested therapy. Do you know how long one has to wait for a therapy session? Six months average – here in Germany.

So I tried some tools I had used before as a coach – on myself. I continued doing QiGong and Taoist mediation. Over time I got better.

My most amazing teacher , Barefoot Doctor, started to write some things about depression last week.

You can read them here:

http://barefootdoctorglobal.com/radical-approach-depression/

http://barefootdoctorglobal.com/temporary-fix/

Yesterday he sent the first of five audios with his radical and very different approach to depression. I have to share this – I believe it’s helpful.

http://barefootdoctorglobal.com/five-secrets/

Let me know what you think – even if it goes against this. Let’s talk about it.