Love Yourself First

Today is Valentine’s Day and all around me I can see hearts and flowers and gifts and promotions to celebrate love. Pictures of happy couples and lovers everywhere.

If you’re in a relationship the pressure is high and if you’re single and happy, I guess you hate all that stuff. The time where you can find chocolate truffles and lots of bubbly and wine on offer for good prices. Stay away from flowers, they are really expensive now. Okay, just kidding. this whole marketing ploy and all these happy couples are so annoying.

And it does not happen like this in real life anyway.

First and most important (does not matter if you are in a relation ship or single) : love yourself.

Take good care of your body, nurture yourself and be creative. Before you take care of your partner, your children, maybe your elderly parents – make sure you have taken care of your own needs. Yes, I know, with a baby this is not possible, but later in life it is.

Show yourself this love by treating yourself well and be kind to yourself.

Women are still struggling to do this, they still feel guilty. We all have been taught to put ourselves last. Today and on many other days hopefully – love yourself first. Enjoy. Happy Valentine!


I’m back again

I noticed that I haven’t published here for more than two weeks now.

Life got in the way big time, that’s how it felt. Very much change going on, so I had to process it first and then try writing about it.

So, what happened?

The situation with my Mum and the house dis-solved and e-volved, decisions were made, she went to a hospital, is still treated, and will go to a retirement home after. The house will be emptied and ready to be sold later.

For me that brought a huge space, like I could finally breathe and relax after more than six months of being alert because of her sickness and not being able to work as much as I love, because she could barely help herself.

Feeling so much space was surprisingly strange – like I have been living constricted or in a box, having to think about many borders and restrictions.

Now I’m slowly getting used to the possibilities. It feels like freedom, not “Yay, freedom, yay” – but a feeling of expanding, of letting my energy flow fully, not holding back most of the time. I feel lighter and excited, able to try more things, to speak my truth more often and to let go.

I am so happy that we will – three years after Dad died – sell the house. Another weight lifting. None of us is willing to take care, renovate it or to invest – so it’s the obvious choice.

While my brother is the one here who’ll be out for the first time and looking for a place to buy, I am the one who wants less “stuff” in my life – the house has always been filled with too many things, my parents hoarding what could be of use one day. So I am going more minimalist, small apartment, enough space to feel good. Only the things I really need.

Like my laptop to write and share my stories with you.

There’s a lot more coming soon. Stay tuned.

Why Sleep Is Important

Last week I wrote a bit about the very exhausting situation with my Mum and how it drains me. In addition I did not sleep through the night, because I was afraid she’d fall on the stairs and my body was on alert.

On Friday she finally called an ambulance and went to the next hospital, because she could barely walk and was in constant pain. Now the doctors and nurses are taking care of her, giving her a proper medication, so she can sleep and heal.

I noticed as soon as the pressure was gone, that I could sleep a lot better, last night I did not wake up – today I feel refreshed again.

If you don’t get enough sleep, your body and mind will suffer sooner or later. you’ll walk through your day like you’ve been hit by a bus – that’s how it felt for me sometimes, when I had a 6 am shift in customer service and had only gotten 2-3 hours of sleep. Working on auto-pilot, clear thinking not possible.

Give me 6 hours and I’ll work pretty well, give me 8 hours and I am a happy bunny.

So, use your nights and your weekend wisely – have a good one 🙂

Knitting keeps me sane

or: yarn is cheaper than therapy as we knitters use to say 🙂

I often take time in the evenings to knit a few rows. It really helps to keep me centred and calm.

Most of the time I knit lace shawls in fine yarns and with intricate patterns, following the patterns to the letter (or should I say stitch) mostly, focussing on the repetitions.

The first step is always choosing the right yarn and colour for my project:

  • wonderfully variegated yarn for wild socks, with no patter at all (vanilla socks) or a very simple pattern to show off the colours
  • bright semi-solid colours like fuchsia, turquoise, teal and a silk or cashmere blend yarn for a shawl or stole
  • beautiful solid yarn for a sweater or cardigan

Today I usually knit with hand-painted yarns, rarely do I use other yarn, sometime for colour work or a baby blanket.

For my current project I’ll use these skeins – I can’t show you the knitted piece so far, because it’s a Mystery- Knit-Along (MKAL) – so you’ll have to wait until it’s finished.

For knitting to work you don’t need to knit difficult patterns or use luxury yarn, it will work with a simple shawl or hat a ribbed pattern, too.The repetition and the movement with a certain rhythm is good for our brain and it will keep you calm and sane – no matter what – just give it a try.

What I Do When I Feel Overwhelmed

Today is a day that was intended to try new things, write one or two poems, play with ideas for my coaching and writing business.

Instead I feel a bit overwhelmed and exhausted due to a situation at home, with my sick mother who refuses to see a doctor, refuses to get help and instead is yelling a me most of the time.

I work from home, so I am the one who has to deal with it, my brother is working shifts and away for 10 hours most days.

I started to look for solutions, while I am working on my business, on my book. I have a GP’s phone number should it get worse. Yet I feel stuck and overwhelmed today.

I feel exhausted and wish the situation would dissolve easier and more elegant somehow. I know that I am not responsible for my Mum, she’s not senile, she is completely clear. Yet it feels like I need a pause, a time-out from this situation.

So I sit, hand on my chest, breathing in and out for five or more minutes. Not feeling guilty – just taking a time-out. Slowly I start to feel calmer and to relax a bit. I start to remember that everything will work out somehow.

That I am not responsible for another person’s decisions and for their health or housing situation.

I do this whenever I think of it and I know it helps me to get through today and all the days to come.

P.S. I don’t usually write about my situation with Mum, but today is one of the days when I can no longer keep it inside.

Why I love January

While many people are dreading the first month of the new year, because it’s still dark and grey outside, and often a lot colder than in December, I have grown to love this month.

First of all I love the freshness, the new start, a new calendar with so many possibilities ahead. Yes, I can have that during the year, too, but right now I can really feel it.

I love getting back to work, recharged and refreshed, with new ideas and fresh energy.

I read new books (okay, I do this the whole year long). This year I have started with Michael Neill’s “Creating The Impossible” – for 90 days I’ll work to create my project, that I think is impossible to do in such a short amount of time.

For me this means writing my book – how to get out of your box and transform your life. Not only is it about getting out of your box, it’s about the creative energy that is set free when you do that and how it will change your whole life.

January also is a month were I start moving my body more – again, after the sitting and eating over the holidays. I try to walk each day, getting fresh air, clearing my head, moving my body.

I love that the light is coming back in January – no matter how grey it seems – the days are finally getting longer.

This month is a mix of going out and cuddle on the sofa, it’s a month to plan and have a fresh start. And – as every month – it’s a good time to celebrate being alive and enjoy it!

Joyful Planning

Today I am planning my next week – and maybe you are also planning yours.

As important as schedules are, try not to plan out too much. Leave a bit of space for the Universe and the surprises it can bring you. Leave space for yourself. Take time each day for ourself, to relax and recharge.

Happy Sunday!