Moods

Today I still feel I ‘m not in the mood to write. I am feeling resistance….

I am participating in a visibility challenge and that brings up so many things, lots of old stuff…so I was procrastinating, waiting for the right mood and saw this quote:

Most artists procrastinate out of fear, or because they wait for the “right mood” in order to work. But any mood is the right mood to begin.

– Julia Cameron

Now I’m sitting here writing – Julia is right, waiting for the “right” mood does not help.

Running round in circles does not help either.

So I did my video for the challenge, and while it’s uploading I’m sitting here with my blog. Thinking about habits, more writing.

I remember one time in my life when I have written a lot, had fun and clarity and lots of change.

It was when I was doing the Artist’s way and writing my Morning Pages. These three handwritten pages each morning, before doing anything – they centered me, it felt like a meditation and the practice helped me get clear.

Pattern were showing, I had lots of synchronicity happening, like the Universe /Tao showing me, that it’s helping me along the way.

So, I’ll start that again, from tomorrow morning on – three handwritten (because it connects you to your heart) pages, letting everything out, getting in the flow again.

Stay tuned, I’ll share what’s – hopefully . going to happen.

 

 

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Resistance

Today I had a very busy day – and I felt a lot of resistance.

I wrote for a freelance job today, and could not quote grasp the feeling. Like walking through syrup, slowly – not much progress.

Went doing household stuff and grocery shopping, felt tired.

I even felt resistance to reading a book.

So I started writing here – not easy, not much flow today. Thee Yin to yesterday’s Yang.

Tomorrow is another day. So I’ll see you there, hoping for the best.

Collecting sunshine

When I was younger my favourite children’s book was Frederick, the mouse.

I loved how he was sitting in the sunshine while all the other mice were collecting grains and nuts for winter.

When they asked him, what he was doing he said “I ‘m collecting colours and sunshine for a long winter”

During winter he was the one who told stories about summer, he painted pictures in vivid, bright colours – and made his fellow mice very happy. Especially when they had no provisons left. Frederick’s stories warmed them and kept them safe until spring.

I still love Frederick’s story – because I believe we all need in our communities not only the workers, we also  need storytellers and artists.

We need the colours and the rays of sunshine in dark winter nights.

 

 

Sundays are for Listening

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It’s a beautiful autumn day…warm, sunny, the sky is a very clear blue.

I’m outside listening…birdsong, cars passing…and I walk.

The longer I walk the more I listen inside.

Listen and feel – thoughts passing by. Feeling good, feeling free and calm.

Have a nice Sunday.

Writing is like breathing, it's possible to learn to do it well,but the point is to do it no matter what.-Julia Cameron

I’m having sort of a mid-challenge slump, but am writing anyway.

When I thought I don’t know what to write about, I found this quote – and here I am.

Sometimes writing is harder, staring at the white screen, all the what-ifs still in my mind.

I am writing these few sentences anyway.

I feel more coming through – that might need some clarity first. More time, and today was a slow but busy day.

So, have a nice Saturday evening – I’ll see you tomorrow.

Being visible

Today I want to share something with you that made me very happy.

For some years now I have wanted to help people, to share my story and experience – and was scared to death by having to be visible.

On the outside I ‘ve always taken a stand, I thought I was visible…well, when I was younger I was just wearing my best mask – and only close friends were allowed to see me. The real me.

Over the past few weeks I started to plan my future, to plan online workshops, I re-started blogging and I worked with some new tools, worked with my shadow.

I started to feel better and found people challenging me to show up, to show myself with my writing, with a video (thankyou Esther and Lita!) – I went for it, through the resistance, gentle, wobbly, taking extra good care of myself.

Turns out it’s getting easier with every step, it feels light, free, easy.

People see me – the true me – and like me. The feedback so far has blown my expectations.

No need to be so scared anymore. It’s liberating, no need to hide.

I gave myself permission to be me and to be visible. It’s okay – and it’s okay for you, too, if you want.

P.S. that’s how I look when I feel light and happy

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